The Bible says, "Love thy neighbor"...I say, "It's ok to love them, but trust no one." This may seem harsh, however, when you have been screwed over by people as many times as I have these are words to live by. The saddest part is those that have screwed me were either family, or "friends". How twisted is that? In retrospect, I loved them all but I was too easily blinded by my love for them, that I TRUSTED them. I will NOT make that mistake again.
Here is what I have learned...Never allow yourself to be blinded by your love for someone that you fail to see what is right in front of your face! You can pretty much trust that someone you believe to always have your best interests at heart is going to screw you over eventually. Let me explain the story behind me feeling this way...
When my husband, son, and I moved into our new apartment almost 4 years ago, we let two people move in with us. My husband's friend, and his girlfriend. Well...a few months down the road, my husband's "friend" screwed us over and wasn't paying his share. We didn't ask for much, but don't think I will let you NOT pay your share of the bills and remain in a house I pay for. I think NOT! No one will live off my hardwork. So my husband kicked his "friend" out of the apartment. His girlfriend wanted to stay and still pay her share. We were ok with that. Until one day...she brought a random guy home and had nosy sex with him...Thankfully my son was not home, but my husband was. She would always walk around in skimpy stuff when I was at work. I went OFF on her. I allow you to live with my family and I and you have the balls to disrespect me? You have to go...Buh Bye. She moved out. On to the next saga...things were ok. Then my cousin needs a place to stay. I lay down the ground rules and let her know..."you can stay here, but this is the way it has to be." She lived with us for a while...then decided to screw us over and move back to Iowa without giving us any notice. WTF is that? How rude can you be? Family has no bearing on people. On to the next screw over in my story...this makes screw #4. My husband's brother was living in North Carolina and decided he wanted to come up here to live because his son's mother was a bit cuckoo. My husband and I paid for his ticket here, paid for some clothes for him. He did give us a set amount from his Social Security check every month and money toward groceries. So we live together for about a year...then he gets a new girlfriend, starts staying over there and one day, all of his stuff is gone and we get no notice, no conversation. All we ever got was text messages when ever he wanted something. So one day he called my husband and I went OFF. I basically told him he better never need to come back here because family or not, I will tell your ass to go stay at a shelter. I am done playing nice and having people screw us over. My husband understands my frustration he feels the same way but isn't the greatest at voicing his opinions and feelings about things.
So...Since his brother has moved out, we have been struggling to get by. I do not make enough money to pay all the bills. My husband is looking for work, but in this economy it's tough. He has been putting in applications and we are praying everyday that God will give us the break we need to make it through. Him and I both came up with a solution...ask my parents if they want to move in. We have lived together before and it went ok. My husband and I knew they aren't happy where they are (which is at my brother's house with his cheating wife and 3 kids). So my mom and step-dad tell us last week they are going to move in July 1st. Great...that will help us immensely. They finally told my brother this week, who then begged them not to leave because our mom is his built-in babysitter. He said he would lower their rent. This Thursday, I received a telephone call from my mother saying, "Don't move rooms aroung until Dad and I make a final decision." My response was instant fury. I said "Clearly you have already made your decision...Thanks for nothing. I don't even want to talk to you!"...and I hung up the phone. Never have I been more hurt and angry with my own mother in my life!
The conclusion that I have come to regarding this entire situation is that my husband and I will work through our money issues on our own. We will figure it out and be alright with no help from anyone but God. I have faith He would not give us anything we cannot handle and that he will bless us for our continued faith in Him. We are going to be able to say..."We fixed this ourselves. We thought we needed other people to bail us out, turns out we just needed patience and faith!"
So on that note...I leave you with Life Lesson #3:
LOVE EVERYONE...TRUST NO ONE! Have faith in yourself, your partner, your children, and above all God! When you have faith in yourself, God will guide you down the right path. Remember, things could always be worse. Be truly thankful for what you have and realize how blessed you truly are!
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